if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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