my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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