I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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