are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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