do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
