Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
