we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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