I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
