Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want to make out with him forever
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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