Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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