if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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