First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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