That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The feeling are messing with the penis
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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