a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
