yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
