I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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