it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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