he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
