need another drink. this is the easiest way
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My balls are so social today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
