Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
