You really coming over, don't trick.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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