I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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