im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
