you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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