You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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