Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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