youre lurking in front of me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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