I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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