I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
