Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Found the puke drawer
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
