I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
