So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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