My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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