is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
