My brain says no but my pants say off.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
