Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
