Whod you bang
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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