he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
