And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
