Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
