how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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