I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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