Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
