so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
