yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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