so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
