All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
