even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
