Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
