My liver just broke up with me...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
