I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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