there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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