Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
