so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
