ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
