I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
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A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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