the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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