$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
