new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
