You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
