ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
