I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
