I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
