sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
