You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
