I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
