hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
